You knew this one was coming after the quiet person one, right?
One problem I've had since I was little is the "smiling" problem. You know, the one which apparently, (only because I just found this out recently through Twitter), most women go through, where/when they walk down the street and someone, (usually a man), says, "You need to smile." Yes, I will say/type it: It's ignorant and disrespectful. Here's why:
Whenever someone says this, the first clear observation is they're making assumptions. They assume the person is "down and out," sad, or depressed. They assume the person is having a bad day. This could not be further from the truth. The actual truth, is "non-smiling" happens because everyone's expression of contentment, or happiness, is not the same. Joy does not have to be shown through a smile. Most "non-smilers" have a more inward expression of happiness.
Take me for example. I consider myself blessed, saved. I have a good life. I'm just not a regular "smiler." I could be enjoying myself at home, dancing around, without ever curling my lips. Another example is that meme post of Steve Carrell on the computer with a straight face: You can like a silly thing on Facebook or Twitter and not crack a smile. It's all inner joy or laughter. And I bet many people can relate.
Now of course I know when you see someone not smiling it is likely that they're in a bad mood. And let's make it clear, yes, it can be a sign of someone having a bad day when they're not smiling. But here's a question I believe none of you ask: Why would you want to make it worse?
What does that mean? The question refers to the rudeness of people telling others to smile.
Nearly 99.9% of all the comments that I should smile has come from people who:
- Weren't smiling themselves,
- Preaching to me about being ungrateful to God,*
- Saying my problems are so small they didn't matter, or,
- Said in a condescending tone.
*(As a Christian who prays and talks to God daily, I'm pretty sure God knows why I'm not smiling and is okay with that, else He would give me an encouraging urge to smile, unlike some of His so-called "children.")
There have been times I would smile at other people rather than those who try desperately to make me smile. Why is that? Because those "other" people have shown me sympathy(and empathy). This simply means they understand, and have shown such understanding. My true friends and family don't try to get me to smile all the time. They understand why sometimes people don't smile. So smile-enforcers, why can't you? You know why you don't smile all the time, apply such knowledge the next time you have the notion to tell someone else to smile. Even if you are the person who smiles all the time and doesn't get how someone could not smile, the least you could do is consider the fact everyone isn't you. Nor should everyone strive to be you and walk your walk.
With all that being said, do you know want to know what really makes me and other non-smilers smile? When someone simply keeps their mouth closed and smiles back, whether the other person smiled or not. That would save a lot of us the unnecessary discomfort in an activity designed out of comfort.
What does that mean? The question refers to the rudeness of people telling others to smile.
Nearly 99.9% of all the comments that I should smile has come from people who:
- Weren't smiling themselves,
- Preaching to me about being ungrateful to God,*
- Saying my problems are so small they didn't matter, or,
- Said in a condescending tone.
*(As a Christian who prays and talks to God daily, I'm pretty sure God knows why I'm not smiling and is okay with that, else He would give me an encouraging urge to smile, unlike some of His so-called "children.")
There have been times I would smile at other people rather than those who try desperately to make me smile. Why is that? Because those "other" people have shown me sympathy(and empathy). This simply means they understand, and have shown such understanding. My true friends and family don't try to get me to smile all the time. They understand why sometimes people don't smile. So smile-enforcers, why can't you? You know why you don't smile all the time, apply such knowledge the next time you have the notion to tell someone else to smile. Even if you are the person who smiles all the time and doesn't get how someone could not smile, the least you could do is consider the fact everyone isn't you. Nor should everyone strive to be you and walk your walk.
With all that being said, do you know want to know what really makes me and other non-smilers smile? When someone simply keeps their mouth closed and smiles back, whether the other person smiled or not. That would save a lot of us the unnecessary discomfort in an activity designed out of comfort.
No comments:
Post a Comment